I realized today that I haven't updated my blogger with photos in such a long time.
& the sad part is that I made this blog for my photography not for me to just ramble that's what my lj is for is it not?
SO from now on this blog is to be purely for my photography adventures and if you want the life stuff go to my lj.
www.livejournal.com/1dramaticdancer

Where do I start with all this photo madness then?
I think I will start from where I am now and then work back to the begining of my non posting days in july.
so...
We start with my most recent: self portrait series.

word play. all day long.

Ever since I dipped my toes back into the pool of writing, my head has been spinning with word play. Thinking constant on what I could say how to make my life flow out into a pool, a pool of words sought after as a masterpiece.
I'm not sure where to start with it all, but I think if I take my time it will sort itself out and become what I want it to be.

until then. I'll just let these words bubble underneath my skin.
It should be ready for a run tonight, but we shall see.

-Jess

Searching for my resolution.

A girl once told me I'd be searching, searching for my own resolution. Maybe not for the same thing that I am now searching for, but I search for it ever more.
I used to write in words, words that expressed my every whim, flowing from my hands to the page. It was like milk and honey. Sweet but still stubborn.
I search for that now, and for how my mind used to be; at ease for it could rest on wishful thoughts other than this harsh reality. I've taken a break it's true, but I find my self stumbling onto the path I knew I would always follow. I wasn't meant for the crowds and the norm of every other girl. I don't belong & I my heart knows that. This defying of my own freedom rings loud for all to hear, letting even those who call for me to be another face in this crowd of nowhereness know, that I will not bow down to the abnormal of me.
Inspiration has hit me, don't stop me now.
I leave with just a few words, but hope for a tomorrow filled with more.
-Jess *

Strange & Beautiful.

I think that would be the title of my life if it was a book.
In so many ways it would fit me, and just feels right.

It's been a crazy first month out on my own, I have never felt so on my own than I do now, but I have never had such amazing friends and experiances than what I do now.
I have fallin in love a little. Made some stable friends that I love dearly. Figured what things about myself I dislike and what I need to do to change those things.
At the moment, I'm in the process of redefining myself, my whole self. The way I am. Who I am.
I want to be thin.
Have my own Artistic flare and want to do art.
Be a book worm
Be flirtatous
Powerful
Strong
and so so much more
I need to go now, but I will continue this post later.
peace.love.jess.

Jess needs your help!!!

Alright Jessica needs help, she has a hair appointment in the morning and doesn't know what hair color to pick so here are the options, look at them all and pick the one you think will look best on Jess.
Or if you have a better idea of what you want to see on her head just leave a comment! Thanks so much guys, you're the best!
-jess

1.http://www.mary-kateandashley.com/photos/index.php?id=29

2.http://www.flickr.com/photos/umbrellasinsnow/2293470412/
minus all the pink strips, if I did do the strip thing at the bottom I think I would just do one red strip. what do you think?

3 http://images.movieeye.com/store/images/mary-kate-and-ashley-olsen-celebrity-photo-a.jpg
mary kates style the redish/brownish/blond

4. http://images.teamsugar.com/files/users/0/88/47_2007/6owq99i.preview

the unknown of now and later.

Swim. Swim deep into the sea of thoughts.

My life has been a constant wirlwind of emotions and events. I have been working hard to do my best and to find the best within me, but have still a mile or more to go.
I go off to college in a week and a half, and I can not believe that I will soon be pushed out of the nest to let my wings spread to make me grow stronger, even if it is with a shock of falling at first.
Art still is my life, and always will be I fear, but devote myself to this fear of the unknown possiblities my life holds. I have so much to learn, but will I be ready to take it on and become a better me?
I know I will make myself, I don't want anything but success in my life and understand I must have failure first to succed, but I don't want to throw anything I've been given away.

I'm in the process of making seviral items. In the process of working on new photos and finding new concepts with them.
I will post as soon as I can with pictures, but for now my projects call me.


lovealways.
peace.love.jess.xoxo.

postnote: talk about coal umbrella next time.
don't let me forget ;P

Artist in the [HOUSE]

I finally got off my lazy butt today and started creating again. It's been awhile since I just let myself do what my heart has been longing to do, with work and home chores and what not I just feel so worn down that I don't want to get up and do anything when I have time. I just want to sit. listen to music. & sleep. Be as unproductful as I possibly can be. Anywho, my sister is in las vegas right now and won't be home until sat. afternoon.
We repainted her room, got all new stuff for her room and now I have decided that I needed to make a few things for her new room. :]
I won't say what I've been up to just yet, I want it to be a surprise post with fully finished product pictures and what not. I am so excited! lol.
&&
Also today I started working with the most amazing floriest ever. My aunt! She has the most amazing flowers ever and she wanted me to come and help put together stuff and be the photographer for all her stuff. Best part other than getting to help her out and learn a whole bunch of new tricks is..
That it will offically be my first comisioned photo shoot. Not really my normal type of photo shoot, but non the less a comisioned photo shoot. My first real taste into the real paying world of photography.
Although photography was never about the money, but more so the art.. but if I want to make a living by doing what I love most then this is a good way to start!
I will be updating with pictures asap and pictures of my finished products!
I'm tired though and need to cont. working on stuff, so until then.
peace. ciao. and whatever else normal people sign off with.
g'night.

OH Bother...

It's been awhile and yes I am still writting blogs on my internetless computer so I do have things to post, but I just don't have the time to upload them and upload the pictures to go with them.
Alot has been going on.
I started working at vans last monday
I got new carpet & repainted my bedroom [even though I will be gone in a month]
I finished bed/kitchen shopping for my dorm and love my stuff I got
Sent my best friend on his mission yesterday
and am in need of products to sell and people to buy.
I currently have my mum interested in buying a bag and one other laddy on my lane.
I also need a new photo shoot.. and I want to start making a scrapbook of my life after high school.
I still have tons and tons to do before I get to any of the fun stuff and I get to watch the kids for 5 days..
ugh I have so much to do.
I'll post later with more updates, until then. I love you all.

My insperation for art craftyness Miss Elise Cake:


& As always my insperation for being a better photographer, Miss Lara Jade:



This is what drives me to do the things I do, It's what makes me tick. It's what also makes me very sidetracked. ;]
Photo shoot to come will be inspired by this set and my journaling scrapbook will be inspired by Elise's amazing work..
Don't worry, it won't be they're style exactly it will always be jessica, but they are truley amazing people who inspire me so so much.

->Blackbird Studios.<-

My logo: I know it isn't a exactly a blackbird.. but I'm working on it. ;] I created this logo originally for my dance Neverland that I choreographed and performed with my dance team this last spring. I love the logo and hardly got to use it for anything so I've updated it and am now using it as my photography and blackbird studios logo.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night.
Blackbird studios is under way! :D
The official Flickr to look at items and place purchase orders is being made as we speak. It will have a few handmade crafts up by the start of next week, these items include:
Canvas Bags
Bulletin Boards
Notebooks
Prints
& possibly a few other things.
Most of the things on there will be made when you order due to some of them being customized items.

Example: My first ever lost&found bag.

Canvas Bags: will have the basic designs and then I will also allow people to request special orders. You can send in pictures of you or something else and I can base my designs of them.




Example: Board I made for my sister for Christmas!
Bulletin Boards: are all customized. I started making these for presents this last Christmas and I had a ton of fun doing them. You can order them with the type of look, color, and any extra things you might want to add so you can make them match your room.


Example: My own notebook and notebook cover.. I took one of them off to use for another project.

Notebooks: These came about when I was bored this last school year and couldn't find any notebooks I really liked, so I created my own. I got a few request to make them for people and now I'm up for public purchasing.
Tell me a list of things you would like represented on the notebook cover or just a basic idea and I'll make one for you!


Prints:
If you like any of my photography or Art pieces enough that you want to hang them on a wall or use them for something you can now place an order of what you would like and I will make prints of them for you.

That's about all I have at the moment. If you would like to pre-order one of the following items just e-mail me at blackbirdstudios@ymail.com or just leave a comment below and we can work something out.
I currently am working on getting a pay-pal account so paying maybe a little tricky until then.

Any-other questions about Blackbird Studios? Just ask!

love, jess.

Blog overload!

Sorry about the massive upload of blogs!
I have been blogging on my computer which currently has no internet and so I never get to take the time to upload my posts.
I finally took a stand today and loaded them onto my portable hard drive and transfered them to the kids computer which has internet. :O
SO now I am all caught up, besides loading pictures for all of them, which will come later today. promise.

Blackbird Studios.

[Post for Today! July 3rd 2008]

current state:
Tank top. Undies. Blanket.
In a dark room
on my messy bed
under my distraught covers.

I just finished my cleaning project for the day and now I'm at a cross roads on figuring out what exactly I am to do today...
partly I just want to lay in my room and do nothing all day.
& then I kind of want to get up and clean up my room
But also at the same time I want to either
a. have a mini photo shoot
b. make a bag
c. paint something
d. upload photos and blogs.
Or e. all of the above.
Not sure what i will end up doing, but I'm just glad that it's only 11:04am and I don't have to do any more work for my mum.
I think I should start working on project Blackbird.
what is this project blackbird you say?
Well to give you a brief discription it's the starting of my own studio art work that will soon be out for the public to purchase. It won't be a lot of paintings, but more so photos and all my crafty things I like to make. I've had severial people ask me to make them various Items that they have seen me carry around and I think it's time I start making those for the people that want them. I mean why not, I get to do art stuff all day while making money, what's not to love about that?
So.. I think i shall do that, as well as really update my blog and flickr. I have quiet a bit to put in those two and I really just want to be all caught up finally.
I'll update you all on project blackbird and what not later.
until then
ciao.

Quicksand.

[Post for July 2nd 2008]

Getting barried quick. sinking into the quicksand of the summer blues. My stomach groans in pain, stuborn and unwilling to work with me, or give me peace. I continue to wish for the skinny of the model next door, knowing deep within that it can never be. Summer work is long and hard, barely leaving time for my own peace and when peace is found my heart is lost for what it should do. No one to turn to for a touch of summer fun, only the nagging of a past adventure that never seems to stop. My living space is explosion that never seems to end. one moment of peace before the war fare begins. A few things i look ahead with an eagles eye, but it all seems as if I'm just on a treadmil stuck in time, and the goal is so far away still.
Eyes grow heavy with thoughts of dreams to be dreamed and my hands still keep typing wanting to let nothing left unsaid. My mind freezes my stomach groans once more. The fingers they wander but I must put them to a stop. A halt a finish for the day. On more day lived and millions on there way.
Until the morning breaks I leave to rest, tomorrow awaits hard work at hand, more to say when the future becomes now. huly2nd08

Writters Journey.

[3rd Post for Monday June 30th 2008]

A writter on a long journey, never ready to put down the pen.
I travel, I test, I explore and in the days end I can't stay away from writting down a few simple silly words.
It's my life, not a novel. I make it a story.
It's called my life part 2.
Part one was torn apart, hardly a trace behind. Story two is consistent almost to the point of too much for the pages to handle
My hair has it's golden wrapped in a mess of curls and waves unsure of what it is supposed to look like and how it's supposed to piece together to create on simple look.
wardrobe malfunction once again and the door of my closet atest to stay shut, sick of all the rumage and piles that lay dorment on the floor for days at a time.
camera lays on the side of my bed never put away because I'm always trying to capture just the right piece of me to show the world.
It's the impossible task. I never stay the same always changing people don't see it as well as I, but I really never am just vintage, skater, prep, but always unknown.
they fret to think that I could be more than just one; just thinking that one is all that could ever be inside the picket fence that gets so much of ignore.
Ignore me, but life isn't in a bad state, blessings are grand. All but one and I can't complain life isn't perfect & I can match with much more imperfectness on my side than that.
my stomach aches for food and I have no idea why. I just ate. hmm
movie in an hour and I just want to go and swim.
I think I'll play with photos and then play.
ciao.

The out come of the vintage look.. more like 80's look.. hehe.

Andrew is the answer. ;]

[Post for Monday June 30th 2008]

I dread when the monday morning wake up call telling me that we're going to the gym in 30 mins. It's like death. I don't mind being there, but the thought of getting my lazy butt out of bed to get whipped isn't the best feeling in the world.
My trainer is tuff, but hey if I want to loose the extra bit of package then I better get on it right? She worked us hard, just like any other day and then I came home slept for 30 mins and got up to go to weight watchers. yay. so offically I'm really on my way now. party on,
Now I'm sitting in bed staring at a whole that just randomly appeared in the sheets.
I avoid cleaning days as much as possible, I really really just don't like to clean. I am such a lazy butt, but I'll get over it. Anywho today I plan to go searching for tables of many sorts for my dorm before I order my bedding from urban. I found a nightstand for $20 on urban and I just want to see if I can find anything more antique looking and also for a better price. I know $20 isn't bad, but I'd have to repaint it to match the room better. The vintage look would be best, so that's what I'm hunting for. plus I need to find something I can use for a small desk.
I've decided that I don't want the built in one so my room mate can have that and I will just find one I like for my own usage.
There is no way in heck that I would be able to share the little built in one and the odds of us both wanting to use it at the same time are very high.
I'm excited and nervous to meet whoever my roomie is, but more excited than nervous.
I also am so anxious to get a move on to my new life that I have decided to make list cont. of all the things I want to take so the week of packing it becomes easy because i already know exactly what I want to ship off with me.
:]
I should go now. my room needs a pick up and I need to get on with my day.
I'll tell you how my hunt goes later!
ciao.

hunting for furniture is like a hit and miss.. and this time more of a miss than anything else. I didn't find anything and what I did find was $150.00 of new unused desk at the di. meh. oh well $20.00 stand here I come!
Some one up above is really looking out for me these days, after all the stuff that happened with the college and with the random trunk you think I would be done with the blessings for awhile right? wrong, they just keep coming and the more that come the more greatful I am for everything in life.
Today right before I went on my hunt I kind of started arguing with my mom about work and how I am going to be doing the $1000 job before I get to her little jobs of death.. she really just wants the work done and I really would rather not work for her at all if I can avoid it. I don't know there is just something about working for my mom that makes everything 10 times more painful than it should be. not that she is beating me or anything it just seems like death.
So as soon as that topic came up guess who called?!
VANS! yay. I was really starting to doubt that they where going to call and that the job had been given to someone else, and guess what else!? they want to seasionaly hire me which is the best part so I could take the job offer because the season will be pretty much done as soon as I go off to school! haha. I was so so lucky that it happened. perfect timing and job offer. I mean someone really is looking out for me and trying to help me out right now and gosh. I am just so greatful and SO happy/ excited to keep moving on to the new chapter of my life outside of highschool
my puzzle is getting solved day by day, now all I need is to finish off the summer with cash in my hand for college&, all my stuff set for college.
Then once I'v e got that and also the loosing weight thing I just have to make some new friends, make good grades, find me a job on campus and find a boy that will make me smile. not that I want to marry anyone for a good few years, but a boyfriend is one of those big puzzle pieces that I feel needs to be found, just for me to have that experiance and that kind of best friend to hang out with when the girls are on my nerves.
I'm going to go make myself look like a vintage movie star and then go out to the movies.
I'll update again later.
ciao.
ps andrew is my ultimate hero.
when in doubt answer andrew! haha.
story to tell later.

Puzzle Pieces.

[Post for sat. june 28 2008]

The scratchy tired feeling is currently invading my eyes, and yet it is hard to keep them open I must try for my own stupid sake of wanting to write something.
It's been about a week and a half since I last put something down and since then my life has been rearranged drasticly.
I've had 2 job interviews
1 job offer
and now I have no jobs & need the money more than ever because..
I just got accepted into SUU for this fall! :D
I swear upon my life someone is looking out for me big time because the puzzle of my college life was just solved before my eyes within a few days.
It all started with me breaking down because I have been so anxious with emotion of trying to solve my life right now. I just wanted to have a set plan, know where I'm going and not just be floating in space, also I need a social life agian. I am so tired of being lonely, it's just not healthy for a girl my age.
So I cried and let it all out to my mum, and as soon as I did lightning struck.
She gasped and was like well what if I booked a tour down at suu and we made a trip to see what we need to do to get you in if not this fall, this winter.
& so it went. My mom planned it for that week and when I got there the rest of the puzzle was solved.
I found out that they have an amazing art dept. and they also have archaeology + digs down in the area.
I also was accepted that very day because we had an amazing man who never ever does tour stuff, but just happen to be doing that the very day I was there.
He admited me and we found my housing and just omg. everything fit so perfectly
I am now moving out offically August 15th! I'll be there a few days before my roomies show up and so I can set up and just be all ready for school.
Now all I have to do is get all my stuff for college and sign up for classes! yay. So super excited.
Today I was so excited that I spent hours and hours looking at stuff for my dorm. I found the perfect stuff and I have some amazing ideas for my new living space! I shall post pictures of the stuff I found below
anywho, since I have no job and need to earn money I am getting paid 1,000 $ to paint on a covering on all the concret in our house. So I calculated everything out to where I am buying all my bedroom stuff/bath/kitchen, all my school supplies and all my books. I will also be buying my own gas and food as soon as I get a job on campus! :]
I think I'm doing pretty good with that, I feel good about paying for a lot of my stuff especaily since I don't have savings or a job currently.
My parents will pay tuition and housing... and help me get a new car which I will be paying down payments on once I'm on my feet from settling into college life.
They are planning on trading in my jeep and getting 2 cars instead while paying a bit of extra on the side. So I will have a car and my sister will have one to drive when she gets her license.
Everything is just working out so well. I am so so very greatful, it feels so amazing to be able to breath again. I felt so overwhelmed before, it was painful, but now I feel free and excited to get a move on my new life, even so much that I am going on a diet and working out everyday to loose 25 pounds before school starts! My parents are helping motivate me by saying that if I loose that much since I will be needing new clothes they will help buy me an amazing wardrobe! yay! so far so good with that. It won't be easy, but I'll get there and in college there is no way I'll be gaining weight since i won't have endless money or food and when I buy my own food normally it's just weat thins, fruit, yogurt, wheat bread... stuff like that so, i should be good. :]
I can't wait!
post more tomorrow! night!

MIXED [EMO]TIONs

[Supposed to be posted June 14th 2008]

haha nope although many would like to call me Emo *cough grayson*
I'm not talking about being all emo... again.. hmm I have so many mixed emotions bottled up in me.. and today was overwhelming a little. I've learned to kind of go with the flow, but yeah anyways.
Cleaned all day. SO tired now, but I'm working on my fathers day present that I thought of about a day ago.. I currently have no back up plan so cross my fingers this works. I'm just waiting a minute or so, so I can sneak on my moms computer and upload/print.
I'll post the finished product most likely soon...
ugh.. I love and hate boys.
I want to move out, but don;t
I can't make up my mind if I really want to be an achraeologist or just an amazing photographer that travels the world..
hmmm.. see what a mix of emotions are going on inside?
I have a job interview on monday.. I had to reschedule my photo shoot which caused a bit of stress and I'm leaving on another trip for 3 days.
I'm tired. want to go to bed and skip ahead 2 years in my life.
Struggling to stay on top of my already formulated life.
Looking at myself in the mirror and debating if I really am satisfied with how I look and who I am.
My head is rushing. My lungs filled with anticipation.
I sit here and type My hearts contimplations.
I have an amazing life don't get me wrong, I'm just tired and worn from figuring out who all I am to be.
Let me sleep on that after this project all nighter is done.
I'll get back to you when morning to my mind has struck home.

some random photos I took when I was bored.

"Babe I'll let you drive my car.. yes I'm gonna be a star..... beep beep yeah!"

[Post-it note wars return.] Supposed to be posted June 12th 2008.

Back in the days... of last year, when my best friend Grayson still was at Timpview we had a game called post it note wars. It all started when one day grayson decided to be a bit of a jerk at state drama and then made me take his stuff home for him while he went on a date.. I wasn't very happy with him, so my other best friend and I decided that it would be really funny to attack his huge shell truck with post it notes. :] we covered the whole thing.. even the inside of the car [ word of advice don't ever leave your car unlocked.. even if it is a piece of junk cause we will find it and attack it. ;] ]
So anyways, we attacked the whole thing and wrote random messages on the stickys. Grayson got back to his car at 1 in the morning and had to take all of them off so he could see where he was going.. that took him about an hour to do...
He took it as a joke, but kind of secretly hated us for it.. so now whenever we see his car we stick a post it note on it with a friendly little note.
So finally getting to the point of this wonderful story.... I FOUND a bug with post it notes all over it & it made me laugh and reminded me of our little wars.. I took some pictures which are posted beneath! I also went around town after I turned in my job applications and picked out spots for my next photo shoot with.... drum roll.......
My first Male model and his girl friend. :] I am so excited for this shoot, cause well it's a lot of new things to experiment and shoot. So yay for Thad! We planned the whole thing out last night and I'm really looking forward to it. I found a really cool abandoned house and some really fun spots down by the lake for a more summery look. I took a few pictures of one of the spots that are also posted below.
It was quiet an adventurous day from waking up going to the gym and almost fainting 20 times to being attacked by a swarm of mosquitos down by a river.
Now I'm just tired and ready to be done posting for the day.. so until the next time.
Ciao.

Yesterday returned with the memory [of our beach.]

Notice: This post needs to be edited.. I just spent an hour waiting for blogger to upload my photos and what do I get? Crap quality photos... ugh. Only one or two of the photos acctually posted like they where and didn't get all blurry.. To see more of this series check out my Flickr www.flickr.com/photos/jessicaburdge[I still have to upload a lot of them there, but I know the quality is realiable.]
I'm going to be taking down most of the photos cause.. well I don't want them to been seen as blurry ugly photos.. I want you all to see the real quality. Check back tomorrow.

The Beach scene.
Can I just tell you I had sooo much fun doing this two series photo shoot event? I loved it, of course it took me awhile to get to it because I was either always off adventuring or being to lazy by the pool reading my archaeology book. I did eventually get up and do something, because hey how many times do you get to shoot in mexico on a beautiful beach?
I used my BEAUTIFUL sister of course and had a blast doing makeup and hair and what not. I really wish she would dress herself a bit like that instead of the punk/ gangster thing she's been going for lately, but I'm not her and she's not me so there. lol.
Sit back and enjoy there's a lot to see! :] I would love feed back on these.. if possible.
Oh and I have one behind the scenes shoot I took just so I could show you all that I really do take the photos ;] not that you don't trust me, but it is also fun to just post those kinds of things.
OH! another note: this set was vintage based again. I really am in to that kind of feel right now, but yeah.. you'll see what I'm talking about.

The Vintage vogue shoot..

Getting back to the catch up post that should have been finished yesterday....
This shoot was really more of a "hey I'm bored, stuck in my room de-junking the entire thing and really can't focus anymore so let's play with makeup, lights and a camera" kind of shoot. XD
Anyways, the results where kind of fun, and what not.
Yet again not the best photo shoot ever, but none the less, fun and pretty decent.
I took these about 3 weeks ago.. & yes it's me under the makeup.. I couldn't really bring in a model cause the door was blocked by clothes over flowing form my closet, so yeah they aren't the prettiest looking either, but you work with what you've got. right? ;]

Fairy tales & urban girls

I really, really, really don't want to get off my lazy butt and go job hunting today.. although at some point I must. :[ BUT! until then, I am going to keep posting so I can get all caught up to my most recent shoot in mexico! I have about 3 more post coming and so hold on tight.. it's going to be awhile. ;]

This was another shoot I did way back in Feb. for the same famous photographer project, althought this aproach was a little more fantisful and light than the other series.
For this series I went off of Lara Jade's modern Fairy tale pieces, some of which are my favorite pieces of hers. So I grabed myself a model friend and had tons of fun setting up my upstairs guest bedroom.
Some of these shots are based off [a modern] sleeping beauty and some are just fun shots. So enjoy, feed back is always welcome!